One of my favorite things about July is that it’s County Fair Time. And that means I get my yearly fixing of funnel cake. I know that if I ate this stuff regularly, I’d hate it. But eating it from a questionably clean truck, while sticky from the Summer heat, and using a plastic fork that doesn’t actually cut well? That’s a dream. Say what you want about the good old U S of A but we know what we’re doing with fairs. That being said, that’s my highly of most July’s. I notice I don’t tend to a lot of traveling (maybe cause it’s too hot and expensive). I just chill. Which is a foreign concept to me. I did go back to my breathwork coach, after months of putting off scheduling a much needed appointment. I hung out with many friends. I got to go glamping (more on this later) with my favorite person ever (my cousin, not my husband). So all in all, July 2023 was pretty cool but gone in the blink of an eye.
My audiobook count is way down. I was honestly over listening to Breaking Dawn before I even started it so I was kind of avoiding audiobooks? That being said, I was absolutely enthralled by the podcast Scamanda, which everyone should listen to immediately. I was also obsessed with the French show Les 7 vies de Léa and sped through it. It reminded me of the book I read earlier this year, The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle. So if you enjoyed that book, you should check out this series.
The Next Wife by Kaira Rouda
My Rating: 1/5 Stars
What is it about? A tech dude left his wife (and business partner of forever) for a younger model. Both women are completely batshit and this dude is mediocre at best. And then he dies and obviously one of them did it.
My Review: I found this book when I was looking on my Kindle at the books I already owned, but hadn’t read. Luckily, there are only like 5 (two of those being recently purchased). But there were 3 books I never recall adding to my library and they were all for $0, purchased in 2021. Weird. But whatever, I’ll take free books. Maybe there’s a reason this one was free. The POV is from multiple people, which I used to say I hated. But recently, so many books have proven to me that it can be done well. This is not one of them. We have Kate (the first wife), Ashlynn (the daughter), Tish (the 2nd wife), and John (the man). Unfortunately, there was really no difference between the thought processes between all the characters. They all sounded the same. Perhaps I have a weird little brain but I don’t lie to myself. Or at least, when I do, I immediately say “lol good try Lauren”. The problem with having a “twist” reveal in the end is that we’ve all been inside that person’s head. There’s zero reason why we should not have known who was the “real” killer. The “twist” at the end was so out of left field! You don’t internally grieve for someone you were already trying to kill anyway and pretend, in your head, that you weren’t the one who killed them.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that this author hates women. There was not a single character I liked or sympathized with. Not only could I care less about each character, but I wasn’t surprised when they all ended up being evil (spoiler alert? Sorry? I’m not sorry, don’t read this book). Adding in Tish’s sad background story should have garnered a little sympathy for her, but it almost did the opposite. At the same time, I would love to be as delusional as Tish. She thought she could seriously defraud a tech company, very openly. She genuinely thought she could just, waltz in and “be the boss” with zero knowledge of literally anything. Her thoughts were very jumbled too. Did she want to be like Kate? Sometimes she would think about how powerful and badass Kate was but then other times, she’d talk about how washed up she was or how bad her taste was. The writing was bad, the plot was predictable, the twist was eye-roll inducing. I don’t even understand how it has such a high score on GoodReads (3.76). This book was just bad.
Leigh Howard and the Ghost of Simmons-Pierce Manor by Shawn M. Warner
My Rating: 3/5 Stars
What is it about? What immediately sold me was Mr. Warner stating that it was a book about a teenage girl who’s parents were killed and she moves into a distant relatives (haunted) house where a ghost, with multiple personalities, helps her solve her parents murder. Sign. Me. Up.
My Review: This book set BookTok on fire. As you’ve probably already seen, Mr. Warner was selling his book at a grocery store when a man came by and asked if he could post something to TikTok about his book. The internet exploded to support Mr. Warner (who genuinely seems like an amazingly wonderful human being). It totally worked on me – but mostly because the plot is so cool. It is a Young Adult book (I’ll be passing this onto my niece). All in all, it was a solid 3 stars book and I’m excited to read the next one in the series because I think that both the writing and editing can get better. I think that it could have been cleaned up a bit better (with better editing) and the author hasn’t really seemed to find Leigh’s voice yet. It was still a little too clear that someone who has never experienced being a teen girl is writing as a teen girl. I’ve obviously been traumatized when it comes to stories about children living with distant relatives (thanks Harry Potter) so I was incredibly happy to see Leigh’s family be loving and accepting. The ghost dynamic is very interesting and I hope it gets explored more in the future. I didn’t solve this crime before the end! I had an inkling but not a full “yup, that’s who did it” feel. I’m really hoping for the best for this author and can’t wait to read the 2nd in the series.
Petals on the Wind (Dollanganger #2) by V.C. Andrews
My Rating: 4/5 Stars
What is it about? Incest.
My Review: Whoa buddy. Oh boy. Holy crap. This book is fucked up. There’s no other way to put it. Did you think Flowers in the Attic was a complete trash fire? Cause it is Mary Poppins compared to this doozy. But let me tell you how I came across this book in the first place. How is it that most women I know read V.C. Andrews (specifically Flowers in the Attic) when we were FAR too young? Cause I definitely was. So was my mom and sister – who both said my niece could totally read Flowers in the Attic (is this a bonded trauma thing?). Sure. That went fine. Plus, she saw my reaction when she wanted to buy it which just made her want to read it even more. I bought her the second one (not having read it – assuming it’s just as fucked up as the first). Once she read it, she gave it to me and told me I should definitely read it. She looked very serious. So here I am. And crap. I gave my niece this book to read. She’s 14 but I, a 34 year old woman, don’t even know if I AM old enough to read this book. While I don’t think I’ve read this… I couldn’t help but feel like the story was so familiar. Had I actually read it and blocked it from my memory (cause TRAUMA) or was it super predictable?
Anyway. Henrietta is a very fat black woman. We get it. Every time that Cathy’s internal monologue refers to Henrietta, she talks about how fat she is (sometimes also pointing out her being black). Cathy wants to be a ballerina. That’s all she wants. However, she makes a comment about how a ballerina on stage has “too much” leg muscle. Have you seen a ballerina’s leg? It is PURE muscle. Sorry, Cathy, but the muscle and fat free ballerina doesn’t exist. Carrie’s arc is so sad. Kids are so horrific. Chris and Cathy really abandoned her. But, as we get to understand, Cathy is all sorts of messed up (who wouldn’t be) and the men in this book are all horrific. But also why are they all fighting over one of the worst women ever? She doesn’t seem to have any real connection with anyone (besides her own brother). Not a single one has a redeeming quality.
- Christopher: All these kids need therapy but he should be required to do it. Forever. His obsession with his own sister made me want to hurl the entire time. He never gave it up and never even tried to give it up. He consistently blamed Cathy for existing – it was always her fault that he wanted to have sex with her. Ew.
- Paul: Where do we start? He’s manipulative as hell – maybe even more so than Cathy, which makes me feel like they do belong together minus the fact that there is a 20 year age difference and he’s basically her father. Ew. Why wouldn’t a doctor get these kids serious therapy after hearing their story? I got major Lolita vibes with him. Why wasn’t anyone there to stop any of this?
- Julian: As hard as it is for me to say this, he was absolutely the best guy in this book. And he was an abusive piece of shit. Say it with me people: “You should not be forced into a relationship!” You should also not be forced to stay in a relationship. He fucked Cathy over both personally and professionally. Oh also, say this with me too: “Don’t let your significant other be your manager”.
- Bart: I called it. I knew Cathy was going to try and steal her mom’s man. He’s also abusive. Yay! He’s also very confused. Does he love his wife or not? There’s way too much back and forth with this man, I’d be exhausted. He said to Cathy, “I take it you are one of those despicable liberated women who refuses to do anything to please a man” and I almost threw up in my mouth.
I spent the entire book going, “okay so this is as bad as it gets, right?” only to turn the page and see it get even more fucked up. I guess the moral of the story is go to therapy and don’t try to exact revenge. Oh and like, don’t sleep with your siblings.
True Grit by Charles Portis
My Rating: 4/5 Stars
What is it about? A badass teenaged girl goes on an adventure with two grown ass men to avenge her father’s death. But not in a creepy way.
Quote(s): “People do not give it credence that a fourteen-year-old girl could leave home and go off in the wintertime to avenge her father’s blood but it did not seem so strange then, although I will say it did not happen every day.” – Mattie Ross
“I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.” – Mattie Ross
“Knowing the gospel and preaching it are two different things.” – Mattie Ross
“Men will live like billy goats if they are let alone.” – Mattie Ross (and me, right before I leave for a camping trip with my cousin, without my husband)
“They love to slander you if you have any substance.” – Mattie Ross
My Review: I have never watched this movie – which really surprised my dad since its POV is from a teen girl. I still haven’t watched this movie (at the time of writing this review) but I just found out my husband owns it! He’s so helpful 🙂 This book should be studied and given to all men who want to write from a female (especially teenaged) perspective. Charles Portis really hit the nail on the head for Mattie’s internal thoughts and the way she acts. She’s super badass and mature for her age (she definitely has moments where I thought “ooof, yeah, she is just a kid”). Girl Power is OOZING from her. I could immediately see how someone who knows how to make movies, read this book and said, “This is totally a movie”. LaBoeuf starts off weird because he says that before talking to Mattie, he had thought about kissing her. Sir, you are a grown man. Sure, he redeemed himself and never made a move on her but why even have that line in there? I didn’t love the horses’ ending… That felt unneeded, the poor thing. Now I’m afraid to watch the movie.
Can we talk about how public executions were a thing? Cause it’s really weird. This was a form of entertainment. A fun outing for the whole family!! As someone who’s pretty morbid, it’s too morbid. How did this even start? I assume it was some weird form of ~justice~ to see that someone who committed a crime did actually get “punished” (if you’re into that sort of stuff).
The Anthology of Scottish Folk Tales by Folk Tales Authors
My Rating: 3/5 Stars
My Review: If this book didn’t have some stories written in a Scottish accent, I would have given it 4 stars. I really dislike when authors decide to write in an accent. I can hear the accent well enough in my head without having to treat it like a cryptogram in order to understand what it’s trying to say. I was surprised to read some feminist myths (like the one where the nosey husband followed his witchy wife when she went to see her coven and then almost died but she allowed him to live and he was like “yeah so moral of the story, let your wife do all the weird shit she wants”). I collect fairy tales/mythology books from places I travel to and this was one of my favorites so far. The stories were short and had some cool themes.
Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer [audiobook]
My Rating: 4/5 Stars
What is it about? Don’t have sex before marriage. And then maybe not even then. Cause you could spawn a weird baby. Oh and that battle scene that doesn’t actually happen is in this book.
My Review: Dude Bella sucks so much. The way she treats Jacob is horrific. Also, THIS was the only way to actually explain the whole “Bella is in love with Jacob” thing. She wasn’t really in love with him ever, it was that her unborn baby was his soul mate? Such bullshit and a cop out. Us Team Jacob girlies were absolutely cheated. Then to follow that up with Jacob imprinting on a literal baby… I just cannot. Why. Why did she make this a thing? The coolest thing was seeing all the other different vampires and their abilities. I really hope no one ever named their child Renessme. Overall, I think I’ll stick to the movies. I think I give this 4 stars out of default? Because I was so obsessed with Twilight. I was over listening to this book before I even started to listen to it and kept listening out of a sense of responsibility. Gotta finish what you started. And now I’m done. Bye.
I know this is about the book but LET ME TELL YOU. One of my top 10 greatest life moments is being in that theater at midnight, watching the battle scene that is not in the book. Every single person collectively losing their shit all at once. It was epic. Judge me all you want.
Have you read any of these books? Have I convinced you (or not) to read any of these? What was your favorite book to read in July?
Writes with Wolves 