Is there a scientific reason that January feels at least 3 years long while February – December is over in the blink of an eye? Is it because October/November/December is just a blur of holidays, family time, and shortened days? Our brains have gotten used to GO GO GO that January feels stagnant?
I’ve always enjoyed January. One of my friends and I have a tradition of going to High Tea in January. It’s after the hustle and bustle of the holidays but you’re still in the holiday spirit. It’s more calm. My moms birthday is in January and everyone is so sure that THIS YEAR will be their year. The hope and joy of a new year really touches my soul.
I seem to read the most books in December and January and I really did slam through some there at the beginning. I really thought I was going to hit a record of some sort (I didn’t). I wanted to sink my teeth into a new series (pardon my pun) and that just simply did not work out. I was very underwhelmed this month! Are my expectations too high?? I also have been slipping on my Audiobooks. I just have been very ho-hum about listening to a book and have been much more into listening to music on my drives (the release of a new Alkaline Trio album might have something to do with that too).
This past month, I met up with 2 friends for tea, saw 1 musical, re-watched Saltburn twice, had 1 pain in the ass cold, and have spent many hours cuddled up on my couch. I also broke our kitchen sink faucet but we’re not going to talk about that 🙂
Dead Until Dark (Sookie Stackhouse #1) by Charlaine Harris
My Rating: 2/5
What’s it about: Vampires and it’s all set in the US South (prepare for racism). Sookie is the girl who falls in love with a vampire but she’s got an extra secret – she can read minds which obviously makes her an outcast in a small town. The vampires don’t seem to be very strong and everyone knows about their existence. Blah blah blah, don’t date a vampire.
My Review: I have been wanting to read this series for a really long time. In college, I read another series by Harris (the Harper Connelly series) and loved it. I avoided watching True Blood because I knew it was based on these books I’ve been wanting to read. I thought I’d be spending January obsessing over these books and starting the show. Boy was I wrong. Instead, I was stuck obsessing over how this series is so incredibly popular and how Twilight got so much vampire hate. The vampires in this series, from what I’ve seen, are so pathetic. In one of the opening scenes with Bill (yes, the vampire BILL), he gets taken down by the King and Queen of tailer park trash. And then little old Sookie (our Mary Sue) takes those two on and kicks their asses? Okay. Let’s talk about Sookie as a character though because she’s awful. As I’ve already mentioned, she’s a Mary Sue, and a very prudish one. Whenever anyone’s sex life comes up (it does a lot), she gets all prim and proper. Which is why I had to skip over every single sex scene – something my grandmother claimed to do with all her Romance books… I had to skip them because they were the most cringey sex scenes I have ever experienced in my entire life. I’m sorry for what I’m about to do but I have to give you examples: “I shrieked, and he growled in response, as though we were truly mud people, primitives from caves”, “I thought I would be plowed into this mud, into my grave.”, “He gasped, and jerked, and he began moving in earnest.”. After that, I just skipped their love making because I could not bring myself to read such crap. I’m shocked there were so many of their sex scenes cause WOW, I have never known any 2 characters to have less chemistry in the entire world. When I’ve read teen vampire stuff in the past, I’m able to say “Boy was being a teenager ROUGH” because these are teen girls falling for sulky vampires. But Sookie is a full ass grown woman. Show some sort of thought process. Oh yeah, I mentioned racism and yes, it’s casual. You know what else is casual? The backstory that Sookie was molested by her Uncle. To which her brother is like “lol get over it, it was so long ago”. There’s zero reason for this backstory and nothing really comes of it (Bill kills the Uncle but like, we could have gone forever without an Uncle). We love casual racism and sexual abuse.
Anyway, everyone told me I HAD to watch the show so I watched one episode and it was almost as bad as the book so that’s about that. It’s been fun but never again.
A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder (A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder #1) by Holly Jackson
My Rating: 1/5
What’s it about: The author just finished watching Veronica Mars and Pretty Little Liars after spending her childhood reading Nancy Drew and saw that I Know What You Did Last Summer was on Netflix before she started writing this book. Then she combined all the worst parts of those shows to make this book. — But seriously folks. Girl gets obsessed with her small town’s homicide that’s a closed case. She doesn’t think the person who supposedly did it, actually did. But his suicide after his confession seems like a pretty legit confession. She starts digging into the murder/suicide, with the help of the alleged killers brother… The big problem with small towns? Everyone knows everyone elses’ move…
My Review: I wanted to start this off by saying that I don’t pay attention and had no idea this was a Young Adult book. One of my friends gave it to me and everyone seems to love it. Everyone is a sadist. I’m going to barge right in and give you a spoiler. There’s a few things I find lazy in storytelling:
- Sexual assault that’s not pertinent to the storyline
- Horrific animal deaths (… also for no reason)
That’s it. For now. I actually might keep this list going because those two are kinda deal breakers for me. I was going to give this book 2 stars but after the (SPOILER ALERT) golden retriever “drowned” (a breed literally known for their swimming abilities) after being kidnapped AND released, I said “fuck this book” and hate finished it. With the Sookie Stackhouse book, it was written in 2001 (probably has been sitting around since the 90s) and was set in the US South. I get it. The amount of racism in this book was alarming. It was written in 2019 but the entire premise around Sal Singh being the murderer and everyone hating him is “Well, he is a brown man and… ya know…” There were so many throw away remarks about how no one really cared how fishy Sal’s “confession” was because HE’S BROWN SO OBVIOUSLY HE’S A MURDERER. Holy crap. That’s pretty immediate too so I was already side eying this book very heavily. Andie is the murdered girl and there’s a lot of speculation about her seeing an “older man” and how he could have actually been the murderer. Pippa (stupid name) constantly comments about how it’s so inappropriate for Andie to date an older dude… while being the ripe age of 15 trying to get it on with a 20 year old man. Okie dokie, sweetie. The writing is bad, which I can give grace for because it’s Young Adult but it’s really bad and the dad jokes wouldn’t even make my dad laugh. Pippa calls smoking pot – “blasting a roach” and I will never not raise my eyebrows. Has this author ever smoked pot? Pippa is often seen as so super duper really totally smart by everyone in the book but doesn’t stop her friends from posting their location while camping. Their literal, actual location that they (young teens) are at all by themselves, asking people to come hang with them. Stupid. And then they bring a ouija board (for no reason, it’s never used) which is also stupid. We already knew Pippa was the white savior no one asked for but her entitlement is top notch. I forgot to mention that she’s doing all this for a school project (one that her teachers literally said not to be unethical for… which she ignores). She now thinks this means that everyone has to just give her answers! Which they do! Cause like, who could ignore a 15 year old girl? Not the literal drug dealer that she THREATENED. Adding onto the “Pippa is not smart but everyone thinks she is” – when she finally figures out who the killer is, she visits them (without telling anyone) and accepts a (drugged) drink from them. Stupid. This was the very first book in a 3 book series and the author tried so hard to have so many twisty twists. Pretty Little Liars didn’t start getting weird with their twists until at least the season 4.
Clearly I just wanted a fun little series to start my January off right. Clearly the Universe disagreed. Sorry, Universe. I’ll stop now. I’ll be all serious after this.
Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors
My Rating: 5/5
What’s it about: Girl meets boy (or more correctly, man) and they fall in love. They marry immediately, despite the age gap, huge differences, and no one thinking this is a good idea. Travel with them, and their friends, through their New York City journey that will make you feel every single emotion humanly possible for every single character (you hate them, then love them, they feel for them, then envy them, and then the circle starts again).
Quote: “That’s what painting is like for me. Inevitably, there’s a moment when I’ve pulled everything out of me, and it’s just… it’s chaos on canvas. I feel like I should never have started. But then I keep going, and somehow things find their order. I know when I’ve finished because I feel… I feel this click that means everything’s in its place. It’s all where it should be. Total peace.” – Cleo
My Review: I picked this book up in Scotland, after my friend Gabby said that she liked it. I went to high school with Gabby and she was in the smart English classes. She also gave me All the Light We Cannot See to read so I’ll just throw down the fact that if Gabby likes a book, it’s a good book. I chose this book after 2 disappointing reads and I am so happy I did. I was ready to just leave reading behind (hyperbole) and never read again (that sounds tragic) until I picked up my first 5 star book of 2024.
I almost thought about making a completely separate post to talk about this book. It was so relatable at times (and incredibly not relatable at other times). Cleo talks about wanting Frank’s teen sister, Zoe, to like her, even though she’s a grown woman and shouldn’t care about those things. The older I get, the more I want teen girl approval. While getting ready for my nieces 13th birthday party, I wore an outfit I was sure her friends would like and tried way too hard to be the cool aunt. A young girl once complimented my tattoos (“cool tattoos”) in a Barnes & Nobles and I rode that high for at least a month. Nothing could get me down. So I feel you, Cleo. Cleo talks a lot about wanting Frank to be her “best friend”, which really shows her immaturity. Let me tell you all something. Your partner really shouldn’t be your best friend. I would love nothing more than to do everything with Jacob but there are times you need for yourself and your friends! Time apart and doing other things with your friends is really important to a healthy relationship. You know when you want to meet your co-workers partners and some of them make sense. I feel like you’d know Frank (the asshole) and you’d meet Cleo and 100% understand that she’s just with him to be taken care of. Which is fine, whatever. But you’d never think they went together. I cannot explain the second hand embarrassment when Cleo and Frank go to lunch with Cleo’s dad and stepmother. It was the most beautifully written socially awkward scene ever. Speaking of great writing, there’s so many small details in the book that come back around. Something simple as a wine aerator being mentioned by Cleo and Frank both, separately, in separate places in the book really sticks with me because I know it means the author is paying as much attention as I am to her story. There’s so many quotes I love that made me think (I’ll be writing separate posts about the quotes and my thoughts, so stay tuned!).
There’s so much I can’t write about because it’d be major spoiler alerts but I will say this. Cleo and Frank needed to be together so they could grow and become better people.
The Secret Service of Tea and Treason (Dangerous Damsels #3) by India Holton
My Rating: 3/5
What’s it about: Agent A and Agent B are going undercover as pirates to save the Queen. They have to pretend to be a married couple (fake dating!!), which fools no one. And of course they fall in love.
My Review: I liked the first book in this series. I loved the second book. This book was fine but I really struggled to finish it. Alice (Agent A) is so “innocent” and naive. The author really paints her as an innocent so heavily that when Daniel (Agent B) does anything sexual with her, it’s a little weird. Does she really want and understand what’s going on? It just made me a little uncomfy. Speaking more on Alice, she’s an awful spy. She’s supposed to be the best (hence her being Agent A) but she has zero social skills (so her undercover work she’s always doing is pure crap) and doesn’t seem to be actually good at anything besides attacking anyone who “lightly” touches her (which means Daniel has to be ~rough~ in bed). This book along with the Sookie Stackhouse one has almost made me ward off any romance books. The sex scenes in this one are awkward because you have Daniel who is essentially teaching Alice, who is spending most of time calculating how having sexual interactions would help their undercover work. It’s drawn out and just weird. There’s sexual innuendos in every single conversation in the book. It comes off very “trying hard”. Maybe this should be a 2 stars but I just love how unique and silly this series is, plus the writing is a delight. If you’re a completest, finish the series but if you don’t care, leave it be.
Do Your Worst by Rosie Danan
My Rating: 2/5
What’s it about: A 2nd generation curse breaker (Riley) is hired to go break a curse on a castle in Scotland. She runs into trouble – a man named Clark who is an archeologist and simply doesn’t believe in curses.
My Review: I was targeted, dammit. This book popped up on my Facebook ads. And how could it not? Witchy girl. Scotland. Castles. English man. ENEMIES TO LOVERS? This was made for me. Except it was not good. This book could have been much shorter but the awful writing and drawn out scenes made it so tough to finish the book. The book was from both Riley and Clark’s perspective and I disliked it. Having it from both perspectives didn’t serve the storyline at all and it would have been much better to have it just from Riley’s. There was a lot of backstory that I felt was so unnecessary. This book got one extra star for a Buffy reference. I didn’t know that fake enemies to lovers was a thing but this book proves it. Enemies to lovers has that slow burn that we kill for. It has the snippy remarks that cause him to have that crooked smile we love so much. It has a growled “mine” before he’s admitted his feelings for her. This has two people who act like they don’t like one another because they’re both really stubborn? Get this. Riley gives Clark a massage because people who are attracted to one another don’t give massages?? What??? Who came up with that? Like, yeah, sure if it’s your job. But I am very attracted to my husband and have very much given him massages (this got dirtier than intended). It’s very confusing.
I do have a legitimate question though – Do British men really use “love” as a pet name a lot? Pop culture has really informed me that it’s constant (hi Spike!) but I feel like it’s probably not.
Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen [audiobook]
My Rating: 3/5
What’s it about: People spend a lot of time going over to one anothers’ house and gossiping.
My Review: Shockingly, this isn’t a re-read. In 8th grade, I tried to read Jane Austen and could not get into it. My teacher had regularly recommended books for me to read, since I was reading at a higher level (excuse my muscles while I flex). I told her I couldn’t get into it and she recommended Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights. What can I say? Once a spooky girl, always a spooky girl. Give me GHOTS and old wives in the attic. After that, I kind of just avoided Austen. Which means I’ve never seen the movie versions of this, because I figured that someday I’d be suckered into reading this book.
I’ve been feeling some type of way about audiobooks and I saw this was available. And it’s FINE. I really need someone to re-define “enemies to lovers” to get rid of these non-slow burners. Darcy and Elizabeth meet once, are kind of snippy, and then want to get married? I was sold that this was their story and like SURE it’s in there but it’s tied up with so many other stories that I could honestly care less about. There’s so many characters that no one is actually fleshed out and everyone is flat. Elizabeth is always billed as this feminist hero (and I understand that for the time, she was a feminist simply cause she was like… smart and stuff) but then she sees that Darcy is absolutely loaded and whoops guess he’s not really an asshole after all. I grasp at trying to remember more about this book but it was so totally about nothing that it’s rough.
This book was probably 2 stars for me, if I’m being honest. But the narrators voice was nice and I loved the writing. I gave that extra star to not be crucified, I guess.
Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn [audiobook]
My Rating: 4/5
What’s it about: Four women have spent most of their lives being some of the best assassins in the world. So when they get a free retirement cruise, they’re ready to relax. Except they soon find out there’s been a hit put out on them. Now it’s them against the museum.
My Review: I keep saying this book is SO CUTE. And it is. If you like The Thursday Murder Club series, this is perfect for you. This book is if we had 4 Elizabeths. The timeline jumps are very well done – in the book they have a different narrator for young Billie – and come at a time when it makes sense to do some time traveling. I love the idea that there’s these 4 old ladies just making their way through other assassins. It’s absolutely not realistic and you need to suspend your disbelief but boy is it so fun!
January was pretty cool – albeit underwhelming. I have a goal this year to really whittle down my TBR physical books – I think I’m sitting at around 46 right now – and avoid buying books. My goal with that is that I’ll only buy books as a ~special occasion~. If I am on a trip/traveling and find a cute, independent bookstore. Great. But I will not order online or take a trip JUST to buy a book. So far… so good. But it has only been a month. Wish me luck!
Writes with Wolves 