Friday Musings.

Some weeks, I just cannot write a Friday Favorites list. I know, I know, I haven’t had that may Fridays to do this so I must have a billion ideas. And I do, believe me. I spent 3 days this week going through my list of Friday Favorites lists and I don’t like any of them. Personally, it’s been a very blah week (except, of course, for the Inauguration on Wednesday, which was exhilarating). I’m left wondering how content creators churn stuff out, day after day. What happens when you just feel a bunch of blah going on? That’s where I’m at, so I hope you can forgive me and stay on this train while I navigate what the heck I’m doing here.

I’m a highly productive and organized person. My house is almost always tidy, dishes don’t hang out in or near the sink for long, laundry is done at least once a week, and food is always planned and ready to go. If I don’t clean at least once a day, I feel like a complete failure. I’m incredibly bad at “down time”. Even in down time, I feel like I should be doing something. Anything. From creating art, to reading, to walking Sidney. I need to be doing something. My 32 years of life have told me that this causes burn out. It’s probably why I’m constantly forgetting little things (such as going to the store specifically for pizza dough and… not getting pizza dough). In 2019, I was convinced that something was in my eye. For like, an entire week. I had a massive headache and my lid felt scratchy (I SWEAR). I went to the eye doctor and she told me that my eyes were perfect (except, ya know, I can’t see anything far away). I made an appointment with my general practitioner. I needed some answers. Turns out? I’m just stressed. He told me to chill out. “Chill out”. Logically, my brain knows I need to do this or I’ll go insane (that’s a family trait). So how do you get your highly logical brain to chill out?

No really, I’m asking you. How do you do that because I can’t figure it out. When you think about it, humans have always been pretty “go go go”. You had to, to survive. In the modern world, it’s easier to shirk responsibilities (because you probably won’t die) and binge Netflix all day. As long as you put “self care” as the reason, people won’t bat an eye. So why does it still make me feel incredibly guilty to not do anything?

Maybe this is why I get so many colds. Or why I constantly trip over things. Or why the knife slips too many times in the kitchen (remember when I sliced off part of my finger with the mandolin?). Maybe if I just took 10 year old Lauren’s advice of taking a chill pill, I’d stop being so clumsy.

Anyway, I’ve stressed over this post for too long. In fact, it’s actually Friday as I’m writing this. Do you have any tips for those of us who can’t swallow a chill pill? Leave it in the comments below!

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